By Simrandeep Kour
The dowry system refers to the durable goods, cash and movable property the bride’s family gives to the bridegroom and his parents, as a condition of the marriage. Offering, receiving and providing dowry in any form is a punishable offence. It is one of the many social evils prevalent in the society since ages. In today’s world, girls are been burned and marriages are being broken for dowry. According to the latest statistics of the National Crime Records Bureau, there were 7,628 dowry deaths in 2016.
One of the easiest ways to end the menace is to stop yourself from accepting dowry and also prevent others from doing the same. Although, the government has made many rules to punish dowry lovers but unfortunately, this practice is still flourishing in society. There are saints who conduct dowry free marriages. Under the Dowry Prohibition Act which was passed in 1961, anyone taking dowry is to be imprisoned for not less than five years and has to pay a fine of Rs 15,000 or the value of the dowry, whichever is higher. If any dowry is received from the women it should be given back to her. In J&K, there is a rampant upshot of dowry practice. Some of the victims of this system I talked to gave the following response:
Case No.1
Rafia Jan (name changed) lived in a Srinagar locality in a middle-class family. Her father was a Patwari and her mother was a housewife. She lived with two siblings and their parents. She completed her graduation with full enthusiasm and she was passionate about taking a job. After two years of struggle, she got a job in an office as a clerk. Her monthly income was Rs 5000 to Rs 7,000. She contributed to her family and also saved some money for her marriage. A middleman brought a proposal of marriage for her. Everything seemed good so the marriage was fixed. The middleman took a good amount of money for fixing the marriage. She was married to a well-qualified government teacher of Zakura area. Her marriage was working smoothly only until she was shocked to see the real face of her in-laws. Her life was shattered just after six months of her marriage when her sister-in-law and mother-in-law asked her to bring cash for them. They told her that they have no problem if she wants to continue with her job but the condition was that more than half of her salary should be contributed to the in-laws. When she tried to complain to her husband, shockingly, he threatened her of giving divorce and accused her as characterless. The reason for demanding this money was that the groom’s parents had already spent money on marriage and their son was not holing a good post. She was even asked to surrender her gold to her sister-in-law who was yet to get married. She was tortured by her husband and her in-laws.
They also complained her of being infertile but in actual, the relationship with her husband was not good. After two years she came to know about her husband’s extramarital affair and when she raised voice against this, she was thrashed like an animal. Her husband was having affair with a girl who was less than half of his age, who also was his student. She was asked to give divorce to her husband but she refused. She went to a religious scholar at a nearby Masjid and requested to look in the matter. Her husband was called and both of them were counselled. Her mother-in-law passed after a few months and now she is living with her husband but the dark clouds are still hovering over the sky.
Case No.2
Hanifa (name changed) was born in an uptown area of Srinagar, in a middle-class family and her father had a carpet business. All her younger brothers and sisters were married but she was not getting married because she had a blotch on her left side of the face. She was very depressed and used to remain calm and alone. Initially, she used to go at sacred places and pray for her marriage but with the passing of the time, she became hopeless and was fed up too. Her mother used to take her to doctors and beauticians, but nothing worked. This brought in her nature a kind of angriness and exasperation. She used to get irritated every time and was upset with her life. Finally, she got an offer of marriage from a man who was 40 years of age. He was residing at Safa Kadal. As compensation, she was given a piece of land on marriage as dowry. She got married to Afzal (name changed) who was a businessman. Hanifa was more educated than Afzal and that too became her fault and it went against her. After marriage Hanifa was asked to sell her land. Her husband told her that he wants to start a new business and needs money. She happily did what she was asked for. After eight months she was again asked to arrange some money from her father’s home for the establishment of the business. She went to her father and he gave her a good amount. Her husband assured her to return this money but he never did. Rather, she was asked to get more money. When she came to know that it is not for any business she revolted. In turn, she was battered, abused and taunted. She lived in a miserable condition and became weak by health. Her husband started annoying her but soon when he came to know about her pregnancy he treated her good. At last, when she gave birth to a girl he was again ruthlessly beating her. Finally, she decided to get separated; the case remained in court for two years but Hanifa and her parents did not lose hope and now she is living with her daughter at her father’s home.
Case No.3
Masrat (name changed) belonged to a locality on Srinagar-Jammu highway, in Srinagar. She was born in a well-settled family. Her father was a forester and her mother was a teacher. Masrat had one brother and one sister. Masrat was the second child and she wanted to become a doctor. She could not make it to the profession, so she did her B.Sc. After passing her graduation, she was married to a Government teacher Hilal (named changed). She was loved by her husband. They went for an outing once a week and he used to bring gifts for her after marriage. As per Masrat, five months after her marriage was the beautiful moments of her life but her world turned upside down when she was asked to get Rs 2 lakh from her father. Her husband was very nice to her. Her husband motivated her to get money and told her that it is not dowry but the need for home and it will be a kind of help. She did what her husband told her. She arranged 1.5 lakh for her husband, but later she came to know that the money was asked for as dowry. She went to her father’s home for three months but her husband apologized and convinced her to come back.
After two months she came to know about her pregnancy and her husband was very happy. But her in-laws again demanded money. She somehow managed and arranged money and gave them just to keep a good relation with them. With the passage of time, the demand increased which in turn increased the burden on her parents. Her husband was silent on this matter because he was dominated by his mother and father. When she failed to give a further amount, she was mentally and physically tortured by her mother-in-law in the absence of her husband. When she gave birth to twins her husband somehow changed and opposed his parents. Now she has somehow managed to live separately with her husband and children but the past still brings to her goosebumps.
Results and Conclusion
After contacting the victims, it was very clear that everyone has a story to tell. These women faced a lot of disgrace. It was also clear that dowry is been still practised in Kashmir, however in different forms. It has become a social evil and has given rise to various social, economical, emotional and ethical problems in society. The dowry system is also economical stress on the bride’s family. Women are ill-treated and beaten for the sake of money and they face physical and mental anguish when they are not able to meet the demands of their in-laws. Quite often, the husband fight with his wife and treats her horribly without considering her health and feelings. A bride’s parents are always under stress to meet the demands of in-laws. Marriage is a beautiful relation and people take it as a formal union and a social and legal tie between two persons that binds their lives legally, economically, and emotionally. But as every coin has two faces, similarly this splendid relation sometimes can turn life into a nightmare. A girl, who has dreamt of her marriage like a fairy tale, diamond castles in the air, assumed her husband as a prince, can be a victim of the dreadful menace of dowry. Dowry is one of the most horrendous and terrifying evils In the society that have become somewhat necessary living tools for a marriage to run.
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