Achievers or Anxious?

Achievers or Anxious? In a world obsessed with success, a growing number of parents are rethinking what truly matters in raising the next generation. 

By Ishfaq Majeed Dar 

In a world where competition begins almost as soon as a child is born, parenting has become an increasingly high-stakes endeavor. Across urban cities and small towns alike, mothers and fathers are pushing harder, enrolling their children in elite preschools, coaching centres, and extracurricular programs with a singular aim—to ensure they stand out, get ahead, and stay ahead. But beneath the sheen of ambition and structured excellence lies a growing unease: Are we, as a society, raising successful children or simply stressed-out ones?

The pressure to pursue perfection is now embedded in modern parenting culture. Whether it’s securing a spot in a prestigious institution, clinching a coveted career in medicine or engineering, or mastering a resume full of accomplishments before adolescence, many parents view their child’s achievements as an extension of their own social worth. The question “Where does your child study?” is no longer just casual conversation—it’s a subtle probe into class, capability, and status.

Caught in this swirl of social comparisons, parenting today often becomes less about nurturing a child’s authentic self and more about curating an image. The fear of being left behind—of not doing enough for one’s child—fuels a mindset where parenting success is measured by external metrics: grades, ranks, colleges, and career placements. This “achievement syndrome” has created a generation of children who are excelling on paper, but often struggling within.

The psychological toll is quietly alarming. Many children, especially teenagers, report high levels of stress, anxiety, and emotional fatigue. The unrelenting pressure to perform—academically, socially, and in career choices—leaves little space for joy or spontaneity. Even those who succeed on conventional terms often do so at a cost: burnout, lack of purpose, or a growing sense of disconnection from their passions.

Equally concerning is the erosion of ethical and emotional development. When the spotlight is fixated solely on grades and accolades, softer values like empathy, kindness, integrity, and resilience are sidelined. These are the very qualities that form the moral backbone of a person—but in the pursuit of trophies and titles, they’re too often ignored.

Then there is the silent narrative of the child who is unseen—the one whose desires, dreams, and voices are drowned out by parental expectations. When a child is told, directly or indirectly, that their interests aren’t “practical” or “marketable,” it becomes difficult for them to carve a path that feels true to who they are. Over time, they may learn to perform rather than to live. To please rather than to explore.
Yet, not all is lost. Across households, conversations are beginning to shift. More parents are asking themselves hard questions: What kind of life do I truly want for my child? What does success really look like? And most importantly, am I listening enough?

A more evolved parenting model is emerging—one that values balance over burnout, individuality over conformity, and character over credentials. In this model, success is not defined solely by exam results or starting salaries, but by emotional health, ethical grounding, and the courage to follow one’s passions.

Supporting this shift means recalibrating what we praise and prioritize. It means encouraging children to pursue what excites them, even if it doesn’t come with prestige. It means recognizing that a happy, emotionally grounded child will likely grow into a more capable and fulfilled adult than one who is merely high-performing but hollowed out.

Parents must also model what they wish to see—kindness, humility, patience, and adaptability. After all, children often absorb more from what we do than what we say. In this evolving landscape, the parental role is less that of a director and more that of a guide—one who walks beside rather than ahead.
Ultimately, parenting is not a project to be perfected, but a relationship to be nurtured. It is not about crafting a “brand” out of our children, but about supporting the growth of unique, thoughtful, and resilient individuals who can navigate life with both competence and conscience.

If the 21st century has taught us anything, it is that success without well-being is hollow, and intelligence without empathy is dangerous. As we move forward, we must ask ourselves what kind of future we are preparing our children for—and whether that future allows them the space to truly thrive.
Because in the end, it’s not the medals on the wall or the college degrees that will matter most—it’s the strength of their character, the kindness in their actions, and the joy they carry within. That is the real legacy of parenting.

The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or views of this Magazine.