The same event can feel like a setback to one person, and a breaking point to another.
By Mursaleen Bashir
Life rarely unfolds in neat, predictable ways. Challenges arrive uninvited, often catching us off guard. At first glance, these hardships may seem universal — as though everyone is battling the same storm. Yet the truth is, storms do not strike everyone with the same force. Two people may face the very same event, but the impact on their lives can be worlds apart.
Take, for instance, the loss of a job. On the surface, the situation appears identical: both individuals are suddenly without income, facing an uncertain future. But scratch beneath that surface, and the realities begin to diverge. One person may have a savings account to fall back on, family members who rally in support, and perhaps even other employment prospects within reach. For them, the loss is a setback — painful, yes, but survivable. They are anxious, but their path forward is paved with options.
The second person’s reality, however, may be starkly different. They may already be burdened with debt, struggling with chronic health issues, or carrying the silent weight of loneliness. Without savings, without networks, without opportunities waiting on the horizon, the same job loss becomes not just a financial crisis, but an existential one. Anxiety and despair creep in, turning the event into a breaking point that others cannot see or easily comprehend.
This contrast highlights a truth we often overlook: hardship is not simply about what happens to us, but how it collides with everything we already carry — our past traumas, our resilience, our support systems, or the lack thereof. One person may recover quickly, while another may struggle for months, even years, to rebuild. That does not make one stronger and the other weaker. It only means their stories, their burdens, and their capacities are different.
Yet society tends to reward resilience and speed. We celebrate those who bounce back quickly, often overlooking the invisible battles fought quietly in the shadows. We rush to judgment, assuming everyone should move forward at the same pace, forgetting that pain does not wear the same face for all. A harsh word, a minor setback, or a small rejection may roll off one person’s shoulders, but for someone already close to breaking, it can feel like the final straw.
This is why empathy matters. To pause before judging, to acknowledge that not all wounds are visible, to recognize that the same event can cut deeper for one person than another — these are not small acts, but necessary ones. Even a gentle smile, a listening ear, or a few words of kindness can make a difference. Sometimes, what feels trivial to us is precisely what someone else needs to hold on a little longer.
Before assuming we understand another’s struggle, we should remind ourselves: every story is written with invisible ink. What looks like resilience may mask exhaustion. What looks like weakness may actually be the weight of battles we cannot see. True humanity lies in our willingness to meet others not with judgment, but with gentleness.
Sympathy allows us to acknowledge pain. Empathy lets us feel a glimpse of it. But compassion is what moves us to act — to sit with someone in their silence, to ease their burden in whatever small way we can. Sometimes we cannot provide solutions. But a patient ear, a word of encouragement, or simply being present can lighten the load more than we imagine.
As a Kashmiri saying goes:
“Dukh ek hi hota hai, magar dikhne ki sooratein alag hoti hain — for some, sorrow arrives like storm clouds; for others, as quiet drops of rain.”
Two people. Two stories. The same page. And yet, entirely different journeys. In the end, it is kindness and compassion that build the bridges between those stories — making the invisible visible, and the unbearable, just a little more bearable.
The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or views of this Magazine.
Leave a Reply