A young woman’s journey into marriage often begins with dreams of love and companionship, only to unravel into a reality of unmet expectations, isolation, and unrelenting pressures. This is her story.
By Farhana binti Hamid
The profound pain and suffering a young woman endures as she transitions from her parents’ home into marriage is a silent yet heart-wrenching reality. She embarks on this second chapter of her life with dreams of companionship, love, and support—a vision of shared laughter and mutual respect with her husband. Instead, she finds herself in an unfamiliar, cold household where every corner whispers expectations she must fulfill, and every effort seems insufficient.
The joy she once knew, playing in her parents’ green garden surrounded by warmth and love, feels like a distant memory. In its place is a harsh environment where her cooking and housekeeping are critiqued, leaving her feeling like a perpetual failure. She strives tirelessly to gain the approval of her husband and mother-in-law, yet the bar seems to rise higher with each passing day.
Her husband, whom she once saw as a life partner and confidant, grows distant. His attention shifts elsewhere—to his mother’s approval, his career, and his social obligations—leaving her to bear the emotional weight of the marriage alone. When she dares to voice her pain or express her feelings, she is met with indifference, her emotions dismissed as trivial or inconvenient. This deepens her sense of isolation, leaving her to navigate her struggles in silence.
Pregnancy only amplifies her exhaustion. The physical and emotional demands take their toll, leaving her drained and overwhelmed. The societal pressure to be the “perfect” wife, daughter-in-law, and now mother becomes an unbearable burden. Every misstep, no matter how minor, feels magnified, eroding her sense of self. She clings to the hope of returning to her parents’ home for solace, but even that retreat comes with its own set of complications.
In Kashmiri society, there is a growing trend of sending expectant mothers back to their parents’ homes during pregnancy. The intention may be to provide care and support, but the reality often burdens the father, who must now shoulder the responsibility of not just his daughter but also her newborn child. Fathers, regardless of their capacity, are expected to cater to the needs of their daughters’ in-laws with unwavering hospitality.
The cycle is a relentless one. After childbirth, the new mother is returned to her marital home, where she is expected to juggle the demands of raising her child while maintaining the household. The emotional and physical toll leaves her drained, yet societal norms dictate that she carries on without complaint.
Meanwhile, religious leaders preach about the increasing number of unmarried women, offering sermons that often miss the crux of the issue. Political leaders boast about empowering women, yet the ground reality tells a different story. Women find themselves more suppressed and burdened than ever, trapped in a cycle of unmet expectations, systemic indifference, and societal apathy.
The irony is stark. Despite being married, many women remain at their parents’ homes, unable to break free from the clutches of societal expectations. Religious and political leaders turn a blind eye to this growing phenomenon, focusing instead on rhetoric that fails to address the core challenges women face.
Yet amidst this chaos, these women continue to hold on to a flicker of hope. They dream of reclaiming their identity, rediscovering their sense of self, and rebuilding their lives. Their resilience is a quiet but powerful testament to their strength, even as they navigate a world that seems determined to suppress it.
It is time for society to take a hard look at these issues. Religious leaders must go beyond sermons and engage with the realities of women’s struggles. Political leaders must move beyond token gestures of empowerment and address systemic challenges. The cycle of apathy and neglect must end, allowing women the freedom to thrive—not just survive—in their marriages and beyond.
The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or views of this Magazine. The author can be reached at [email protected]
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